survived my first day!

Well I was VERY nervous the night before and hardly slept at all, but I made it through my first day of classes yesterday!  Mondays are my longest day of class as well as my hands-on baking day, which means.... super awesome uniform!

Oh yeah, those are hounds-tooth pants!  Everybody has to wear the same, super-strict uniform - including long sleeve chef coat, baggy pants, non-slip black shoes, apron, and white hat.  And sadly, no jewelry - which means I can't wear my engagement ring.  I expected that part, but it's still a little tough to take my ring off, I haven't even had it that long!

Luckily, the chef-instructor had emailed us the guidelines early, so I had time to order extra-small ladies' cut online - which is waaay better than the 3XLs that were in stock at the uniform store.  But his emails made him sound really strict (he expects to never see a wrinkle), which had me even more nervous for class - especially because I was pretty sure that I had ordered the wrong hat.  The guidelines said white hat.  Do you know how many varieties of white hats there are on chef uniform websites??

So even though I was really excited that the day was finally here, I was still nervous to head to school Monday morning, and just preparing myself to get chewed out for the wrong hat, too-long fingernails, or something else I had missed.  But as it turns out,  there were people with no uniform at all, no book, and no knife kit.  (That's what I'm holding in the photo - my baking "kit" - knives, spatulas, measuring cups, pastry and decorating tools, and lots of other fun stuff.)  So I felt way better - and he said my hat was ok, even though he thinks it makes me look like I just had brain surgery.

So on top of already being nervous, I got to class early and started talking to the other people waiting in the hall outside the classroom (the uniforms definitely make it easy to spot the other culinary students on campus...), and started hearing horror stories.  Apparently the chef had a few horrible reviews on the professor-rating websites, and some people who had taken his class before compared him to Chef Gordon Ramsey.  Now I developed some pretty thick skin in construction, but if he calls me a donkey or a cow, I might just cry. 

Apparently there was even a rumor going around school that someone made him mad in class, so he calmly took his chef jacket off, beat the kid bloody, calmly put his jacket back on and went back to lecturing.  According to him, it's just a crazy rumor that developed after someone cursed at him and he told them to get the f*** out of class.  Whew - this could be a long semester.  Especially because he is the instructor for both of my classes on Mondays - Baking Ingredients & Technology from 8-10:50 and Specialty Breads from 11-4:50.  But he actually seemed pretty nice in person, had a great sense of humor about all the horror stories, and just has high expectations for his students (ok, I can handle that...).

Well, the Ingredients class is all brand new students like me, so it was easy to get talking to people and start making friends right away.  We jumped right into lectures on types of flour, gluten strands, and a lot of other technical stuff.  No kitchen time this week, though, just introduction.

Specialty Breads has a few people carried over from the morning class, plus a few people who have taken classes with him before.  We were supposed to make biscuits the first day, but the ovens weren't working! Very disappointed about that, but we got to explore the kitchen and check out all the commercial equipment.  I have worked in a LOT of restaurants, but always front of the house.  So I have seen all this stuff before, but never actually used any of it.  The first three weeks of lessons are on quickbreads - biscuits, muffins, etc - some of my favorites, so I am really excited and ready to get baking.  I wish Labor Day didn't mean it will be TWO weeks until my next baking class.... 

So over all the first day was great.  We even got to sample some awesome cookies (I guess from another class) during one of our breaks - YUM!  Tomorrow I have Food and Beverage Management - no uniform or hands-on baking for that one, and my other two classes are online.  Oh, and quick update - everybody else was right, I was wrong - I definitely wasn't the oldest person in my classes.  There were a lot of people close to my age and a few older.   I knew it was a silly concern, but I definitely feel better.  I'm actually really excited to get to know the people in my classes, we obviously have some common interests!

a few campus shots... the classroom/kitchen we were in are in a beautiful new building, sitting right by a pretty pond - made for a very nice spot to sit and eat my lunch :)

what I'm most scared about..

I would be delusional to act like this is going to be all easy breezy along the way.   So I've decided to be completely honest about it all and share some of the things I am most scared about - maybe it'll even be therapeutic to get it all out.

      1. What if I'm not any good at this?
    Obviously, I wouldn't be doing this if I hadn't gotten really great feedback on my baking so far.  But that doesn't stop the doubts from sneaking up some times - I mean, when I think about it, my biggest fans so far have been Trev, the kitty, and the guys at the plant.  Let's be honest, Trev can't say anything bad - he wouldn't dare.  And I'm pretty sure the guys at the plant would eat anything you put in front of them.  The kitty, on the other hand, has an impeccable palate, so I know his opinion is legit. 

Anyways, I hope all of the rave reviews have been real and the people who have told me "you should open a bakery!" over the last year have really meant it.  It's still a little scary to go from doing something with very black and white answers to doing something completely creative and subjective.

    2. Depending on someone else to support me.
     I want to be really clear here that this is not a comment on Trevor's ability to support us - I don't doubt that at all.  But for anyone that knows me, I am a control FREAK with multiple other neuroses.  I think that me being able to step back and trust him to support us financially will be the first big challenge of our marriage.  But we've been talking about it nonstop and I think he is ready to let me be a crazy person about it, and I'm ready to try my hardest to relax and trust in what I already know - that he is going to be a wonderful husband and provider.  So I think we will be able to find a way to handle this big change - but it's still scary!  And on a side note, he did this exact same thing two years ago when we moved here for my job - quit his job and moved to another state to be with me.  I've always been grateful (we couldn't take the long distance much longer) but now that I am in the same position, I am way more impressed with him doing that for our relationship.

    3. Being the oldest person in all my classes.
     This might seem silly, but I'm actually pretty nervous about this one.  Granted I'm still pretty young, but I'm just picturing walking into a class full of 18-year-olds and feeling completely out of place.  When I went to pick up my tools at the campus bookstore yesterday, I think I was the only person who wasn't there with their mom.... I guess this is a hazard of going to a regular college with a culinary program instead of a strictly culinary school, but I hope I can find a way to relate to my classmates and even make some friends.

    4. Losing the fun in baking.
     I love baking.  I love finding new recipes, making a huge mess in the kitchen trying them out, and then eating and sharing my experiments.  But I'm nervous that between school and hopefully working part-time in a bakery, it'll turn into just work and no fun.  I'm pretty sure I love it enough to do it all day every day, but it's definitely not the same as a hobby.  I'll just have to find ways to keep it fun and not let it turn into a chore.

    5. Gaining 100 pounds.
     This one's pretty self-explanatory.  We are really going to have to watch ourselves with the whole eating-the-homework part of this.


Ok, got it out of my system.  Hope this didn't come off as too negative, I am absolutely excited about my decision and can't wait to get started.  But I would be lying if I said I was sure 100% of the time that I am making the right choice.

And on a brighter note, I've been going through old pictures to try to find some of my all-time favorite recipes.  Here's a few I've found so far!

my last day

So today was my last day at Zachry.  Very bittersweet - I have been counting the days for so long and I am so excited to get started on the next chapter - but it is hard to say goodbye.  Plus it's a little unnerving to be unemployed for the first time in three years - especially in this economy.  In fact, I haven't been without a job for more than a week since freshman year of college.  I actually woke up about two hours early, feeling really anxious.  I'm not sure why, I guess just the thought of my last day - making sure I haven't forgotten to take care of anything - and the finality of it.  No turning back now! 

I made peanut butter pie for yesterday for my last day favorite - figured things would be too crazy today with the dedication ceremony and everything.  Not really much baking involved, but something I have always loved.  My recipe is inspired by Molly's famous peanut butter pie at The Islander in Pendleton, SC, but she never would give me the secret recipe.  Plus mine has a chocolate layer, so it is a little bit different. 

But then last night I made two batches of snickerdoodle muffins I found on Tasty Kitchen (well technically I made three - I completely forgot the eggs and vanilla on the first run even though they were sitting on the counter - didn't scroll over far enough on my phone screen.  Guess I better get used to mistakes and experiments, huh?).  I used their recipe but as usual, I substituted Splenda for sugar (only in the batter, not on the cinnamon-sugar topping), fat free sour cream, and margarine instead of butter.  I brought those for our last morning meeting with the whole team.  They turned out delicious! 

Cane is NOT happy that he can't have a muffin.

So I've got to be a little nostalgic and post couple picture of the plant - it was just a field when we showed up in March 2009, and now it is an operating power plant.  This was a great experience and I will really miss a lot of it.  I have learned so much - and some of it I am sure I will be able to use in my bakery too.  Everybody teases me about developing budgets, spreadsheets, tracking tools and reports, etc for my own business after doing it here for so long, but I'm sure I won't be able to resist.  I already have ideas for a few of the spreadsheets.  (And yes, I have scheduled out my degree plan for all four semesters already).

So anyways, this chapter is over.  I'll admit I got a little misty-eyed driving out of the gate for the last time.  I'm ready to move on but have no regrets - this was one of the best learning and growing experiences I could have wished for.  Thanks everybody for EVERYTHING!

what I'm most excited about..

I'm literally counting down the days now until my first day of classes.  I'm still terrified but I am getting really excited now, it finally feels real.  So here are the top few things that I am super psyched for:

1.  Finally knowing what I am talking about (sooner or later).
It seems like as soon as I said I was going to go to school to be a baker, everybody just assumed I had somehow magically become the world's best pastry chef overnight.  I have a lot to learn!  If I already knew how to make every recipe you've every heard of, I wouldn't be taking the time to go to school.  But knowing that doesn't help when someone asks me if I know how to make some crazy French dessert or something I've never heard of and I feel like a failure already when I have to say no.  So I can't wait till I actually have enough knowledge to now what a friandise is (one of my second semester classes is Cookies, Tarts, and Friandises.  No clue what it is but if it's a friend of cookies and tarts, then it's a friend of mine!  Don't worry, I'll google it before I go to that class.)

2. Baking for my friends and family.
Since we have decided to stay in Florida, we know that we will have less time with friends and family.  That just means even more excuses to make tasty treats for them when I do get to see them!  Holidays will be especially tough, because part of Trevor's job is that he has to work every single holiday.  Every year.  No matter what.  So we are going to have work extra hard to come up with our traditions and ways of making the time we do get together extra special.  Growing up, my favorite part of Thanksgiving was the pies, and the best part of Christmas was the cookies.  I guess we'll just have to continue that trend for our own family!
And hopefully being ten minutes from Disney World will mean lots of visitors! And visitors get lots of yummy baked goods.  

3.  Planning and designing my own bakery.
One day, hopefully soon, I fully intend to open my own small bake shop.  Obviously I'm excited about the baking part of that, but I am also really excited for all the other aspects.  I can't wait to design the space, plus getting to come up with my own logos, mailers, flyers, menus, etc.  And I will have a place to display my paintings.  Who knows, maybe I'll get brave enough to put up price tags and sell one like Trev thinks I should.

4.  Being a special part of other people's lives.
There is no better feeling than when someone trusts you to create an important part of their special day.  So far, I have made a few special request birthday cakes and even one baby shower cake.  It was nerve-wracking to have all that trust put in me, but it was also really exciting.  And it felt great when people loved it.  So when I get my bakery open, I fully intend to offer custom cakes, and hopefully even wedding cakes.  I have a long way to go as far as the decorations, but I'm hoping that's one of the things I will learn in school.  But until then, I hope people will continue to ask me to make cakes for their special occasions!
And to answer the question I am getting asked at least once a day, No! I am not making our wedding cake!  That would just be crazy.  As much as I love to bake,  I do not need that extra stress.  So we are getting our cake from Pawley's Island Bakery, and if the tasting is any indication, it is going to be amazing. 

Jalen's Baby Shower Cake - Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Mousse Filling and Cream Cheese Frosting

Again, I definitely need some work on the decorating, but this was four recipes worth of cake and three of frosting, and the entire thing was gone by the end of the shower, so I was a happy camper.

Chocolate Kahlua Cheesecake for my friend Liz's birthday

German Chocolate Cake and Cupcakes for Lynn's Birthday (and no, he's not really 80 for those that know him...I just had to get in one last laugh)

changes are afoot

So recent events have led to some pretty life-changing decisions around here, so I thought I would start this blog to keep everyone updated with my journey through this quarter-life crisis, and so that I can look back in a few years and see if it went how I planned (probably not, but that's ok, it'll be an adventure).  I hope people start to read it, but you'll have to bear with me - this is my first attempt and I haven't done any creative writing since tenth grade english class.

For anybody that hasn't heard the news (or the convoluted explanation) yet, I have decided to leave my job in industrial construction after three years and pursue a career in baking.  Long story short, Trevor and I came to a crossroads earlier this year where we had to make some pretty big decisions about our future and our careers.  We went into the decision-making process thinking one of us was going to make a huge sacrifice, and the good news is we surprised ourselves by coming to a compromise we didn't expect and that we are both really excited about.  And just so you know, we didn't see this coming anymore than anybody else, so don't feel left out!

So a little background on the decision.. part of my current job is moving every year or two to different projects.  At first, we though this was super exciting - getting to see new places, never staying in one place too long.  Well at first it was!  But after just two moves, we are ready to settle down, buy a house, etc.  Combine that with Trev loving his job here and doing really well at it and it was just really hard for us to think about picking up and starting over again somewhere else. 

Once we figured that part out, I had to start thinking about what I would do for work if we stayed here.  I could find another similar job in the area, but I just wasn't excited.  So I started thinking about things I have always dreamed of doing - what would I do if I could do anything in the world?  And obviously I found the answer... start my own bakery!  But so far I only bake as a hobby - and I want to do this the right way.  I really felt like I needed to take the time and learn the techniques, etc to have a strong enough foundation before going out and starting my own business.  But that meant the added expense of school, and a lack of income at the same time.  So we sat down, made some lists, and did the math, and realized maybe this wasn't such a crazy idea after all!  I started getting more and more excited, and after a lot of long talks with my super supportive fiance, decided to go for it.

Next Wednesday, August 24th is going to be my last day at my current job.  After three years of long hours in front of the computer screen pouring over spreadsheets (with the occasional break to check out the actual construction), I'm packing up my things and saying good-bye. 

To be honest, it's still bittersweet - as excited as I am about the future, it is hard to say goodbye to people I have worked so closely with on this project.  And I plan on trying to keep in touch, but with the nature of the industry, it's possible I'll never get to see some of them again.  But I have to say, the best part about leaving is the good wishes I have gotten from everybody.  While everybody has told me they wish I wouldn't leave, when I tell them my plans, every single person has been excited for me - some have even told me they're jealous.  And I'm so grateful for these reactions because it makes me feel a little bit braver and more confident in my choice, and I'm glad there's no ill will for me leaving the company.  I've been really lucky to get to work with and spend time with such awesome people. 

But I'm never sad for long, because I start thinking about what's next and realize it is only ten days until my first day of classes! On August 29th, I start classes in Baking & Pastry Arts at Valencia College in Orlando.  I've got my uniform all ready to go, two of my three textbooks (turns out baking textbooks are just as expensive and heavy as any others - who woulda thunk it?), and Trev even surprised me with a new bookbag. 

It's a program that should take me about a year and a half, and has everything I was looking for.  I looked in to a couple of other culinary schools in the area, but they just weren't as good of a fit for what I am looking for.  The program at Valencia is actually part of the Walt Disney World Center for Hospitality and Culinary Arts, so that's exciting.

Sooo... I know that was quite a ramble but I wanted to start with a thorough update for everybody that has been asking.  I'll have some more details next week, and I'll let you know how my last day at work goes (it's also the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the plant we built!)  And yes, I plan on posting lots of recipes and pictures of all my baking experiments! 

Oh yeah... and amidst all the craziness of career changes, we are also shopping for our first house and getting married in exactly 50 days - gonna be a wild few months!